la fin

It's the end of the semester.
It's the end of the year.

School is not looking too bad.
Work accommodated me for my time off.
We're having a show this weekend.
And I'm skipping town the next day.

I don't think I have much to lose at this point.

Fortune Favors the Bold

I need to feel alive again, to feel something strong enough to validate my existence.

Domesticity and Christmas Cookies

Your blood was on my skin
and all I could do was laugh.

Follow Your Dreams

Tracing the lines of the curb with my fingertips
Anticipation is the only thing that keeps me
From becoming wholly numb
The calloused stroke of cold cement
Through tights that run
Back seamed,
If you can grasp what I mean

Tired and tried, I won't sleep this time.

Daylight Losing!

I'm actually going to try to update this! I feel like a broken record, but we'll see how it goes. Today I became the queen of tardiness at work; I set my alarm for PM instead of AM, what a classic mistake. And just when I was wowed by daylight savings, HA! I'm really missing some things right now, but I just don't think I'm in a position to change the way things are. It sounds kind of petty and whatnot, I know. "I'm the only one who can take action and get what I want for myself." Easier said than done. And I'm drinking tea and I'm trying to find a more productive me. I'm trying to play more music, make more music lately. I really want to find someone to collaborate with, but I'm so shy about playing in front of anyone and everyone's schedules seem to be in conflict with mine. I'm good at excuses I've realized. Why am I still at home? I don't know.....

Nothing to Offer

When he telephones, I feel his voice in my veins. I want him to talk into me. I eat him, I breathe him, he is the sun. I wish I would stop lying so much.

In other matters of importance, I miss this:

Le Dernier Jour

Here I am, wanting to write again. For the hundredth time. For the millionth time. And still I have nothing of substance to say. It's all just letters strung together in vulgar fashion, just pouring out from some very vacant compartment of the mind. These are not the interpretations that are born of observation and memory, of analysis, psychology, and fear. But there is geometry in everything. The depth of these artificial surroundings is so impressive it's disgusting. I am sick over the brilliance of it all.